Hhhm, I'll check it out sometime today then!
I know for a fact its easier for me when I'm not around my Mom. I get massively stressed (even during my drinking days) when my Mom is around because it is NON STOP "honey, don't you think you should start dinner?", "honey, I really think you should clean up your bathrooms now as I found a tiny bit of pee near the seat. DS must've missed", "honey, I noticed your dishwasher needs emptying" etc etc etc.
All of this USUALLY just as I've come home from work, need to sit and take a break, and BREATHE.
When my Dad usually speaks up for me and says "Let her have a break!", my Mom usually responds "mothers do not get breaks. We work and work and work. She's a Mom she knows this. She's not allowed breaks"
Sick.
And very very sad.
I've noticed something through my Mom's griping that just kind of came to me recently.
All my aunts, all my cousins, those of us who do not drink excessively (or just don't drink anymore) have one thing in common.
We can't seem to relax. We're all very high strung.
My Mom says her sister, my Aunt is like this. Always going. Always has SOMETHING she is working on.
My cousin (many of us believe) is an anexoric (sp?)
Only one who kind of seems "exempt" is one of my Mothers other sisters who oddly enough is described by my Mom as "lazy" because of her housekeeping.
And yet, other than a tendency to go overboard within the church and her desire to be one with Christ she doesn't really seem like she is over stressed or whatever.
(nothing against religion, I just think my Aunt goes a bit overboard. To each their own though)
Today I have massive cravings for coca cola and chocolate.
Woke up with it. Don't know if that is because I woke up at 3am not being able to sleep.
I'm rereading Wild: Lost to Found on the PCT by Cheryl Strayed.
Kind of a good book dealing with addiction.
Her DOC seemed to be heroin but she wasn't addicted for very long.
I would love to walk the AT or the PCT once in my lifetime. Just to say "I DID THAT"
Guess I'll put that on my bucket list.
Gotta run. Got work to do.
Still here, still sober.