"Your comment makes me think I have something to learn at this point not just something to endure. "
I think when we put the effort into recovery, we learn how to live happily without the alcohol. Looking back on it, drinking and all of the negative things it brought with it was something that I endured.
Sobriety is a place when I can do more than that. I can thrive here and grow if I choose to.
Try to find something else to relieve the tension. Exercise helps a lot. Yoga or a run maybe. And you will likely discover those things to be more fulfilling than drinking.
Sobriety is something to delight in and have fun with. It is something to be grateful for. Every morning not hungover is something to be thankful for. Every night spent where you wash the dishes rather than passing out drunk is something to be thankful for.
I wake up every day thankful that I'm not drinking. I am too grateful for my sobriety to think of it as something that I endure. Each day is a gift.
Just my thoughts, of course.