Hi lostmunki,
Glad you found SR! Welcome to a really wonderful place for support.
I once read an article that pointed out that whatever bothers you early in a relationship (within the first 6 months) is exactly what will bother you, more and more, as the relationship goes on.
Even though you knew him for quite a while you didn't know that he was an alcoholic, so that's a major thing to have entered into the equation. His being an alcoholic won't change, and you didn't make that happen or have some shortcoming that resulted in his relapse. It's all about the relationship that he has with his disease. And that relationship will ALWAYS be in his life.
Can he recover? Absolutely. Will he? No idea. I believe the AA recommendation is that nothing changes in the first year of sobriety, other than getting sober. That means no new relationships. No doubt you can now see why that is the case--it's hard enough for the alcoholic to navigate early recovery...having someone along on the ride adds a LOT of "extras" for both of you.
Given that you have not been seeing him for long, if it were me I would bless him on his path, sincerely wish him well and pray for his continued efforts to get better. And then let go. Of course, I can say that now after almost 4 years in Alanon, which I highly recommend. It saved my life, possibly quite literally.
Keep coming back~
posie