Winecountry - I hope you can comfort yourself somewhat with the thought that you are not alone in this, you sound as if you are in a similar place to where I am right now with my XAB. I am also from another country originally, not had much contact with alcoholics, was "invited to leave", had plans to move in and marry and was told if it was a deal breaker "we" had to move on etc, etc! And, yes, I was made to feel as if I was the crazy one and a 'stick in the mud'.
We broke up and have had no contact for a couple of months. It's still extremely hard for me but reading this forum the past few weeks has definitely helped and hearing all the encouraging words! Especially when not many people in my life have experienced this themselves and think I should just 'get over it' now he's gone.
Thank you for sharing...your post encourages me that we can do it by working on moving on, planning new things and not letting their disease take over our lives. That doesn't mean we have to switch off all our emotions and feelings! But we are in the process of success!