Dear OhBoy, I understand how you feel, hearing that. Some day, you may realize what parts you played in the "dance" (knowingly or not). But, as for the fallout from alcoholism, I don't think that ever feels "Just". At best---maybe, "Just Is" (and, then, left in the past).
When I think about my marriage to my children's father--oh, so many years ago--I think that I was so very young (22yrs.) and very, very nieve. I did not have enough self-esteem to stand up to him sooner--that was my part. Young and soft. I don't take responsibility for the rest of it, though.
I think that the fact that you can go through this part without falling apart shows that you are truly ready to go on.
Congratulations on your growth.
dandylion