Hi Dave,
I so understand your pain, the anxiety attacks. I, too, recommend joining a support system. You would be so surprised how many of us deal with this on a daily basis. Years ago I confided in a gal I volunteered with at my son's school. It seemed the floodgates opened. No, you are not alone.
I, too, am in the midst of doctor appt's. Just **** I ignored/numbed with my drinking. It's scary, I'm going anyway. Keep writing here Dave. You have my support and understanding too.