Modeling addiction
We all are searching for answers,to addiction pain past and present.
This website is an excellent resource,I have learned,for what I call
modeling addiction.
Modeling is just that.A working diagram that attempts to explain
observed behavior,useful only in predicting future events-----and having
no intrinsic value in and of itself (e.g. when a model stops working,
toss it & find a new model.)
The cortex is what makes us human.When a shark attacks you while
surfing,it didn't brood over the moral implications.It didn't decide to attack
at this beach or that beach based on socio-economic factors or consider that
eating THIS human is any more desirable than eating THAT human.In fact,
in its simple mind,you looked like a (tasty!) seal because you were wearing a
wetsuit.
It didn't care.
That's where the big disconnect between THEIR actions and OUR
feelings comes in.The proto/reptilian inner brain that our outer brain is wrapped
around "cares" about only one thing......dopamine.
All it knows or cares about is seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.All the
sophisticated machinations of the upper order is a complete non sequitor to
this pleasure seeking/pain avoiding biochemical computer.
It's been a long journey for me,and a big realization was that none of
the disappointment,hurt feelings,feelings of injustice-----were ever appropriate
in any way, shape, or form.
Every time you want to "get mad" at an addict,or feel hurt or taken
advantage of........just remember that person no longer has the very essense
that we humans treasure most----but is only a slave to those proto subconscious
urges (far below reasoned thought but able to override it) that even THEY have
very little hope of understanding, let alone controlling.
Disease/choice is as pointless a waste of time as nature/nurture.To even
begin to think that this could be neatly reduced to a binary argument is to
misunderstand it to the point of perfect non comprehension.
The model I am forming to complete my visit to this particular genre
of the human condition must remain one of compassion.Regret for a lost soul
and so much pointless and needless misery.Scars that will negatively influence
their families for generations------all of it borne of one catastrophically poor
decision.
Followed by the flawed egotistical one.....of refusing to correct it before
the very mechanism of decision making itself ......is fatally compromised.
I wish she didn't take that fork in the road.I wish her life had been
more than just a horriffic cautionary tale.
Wishing gets a bad rap.The proto-brain can't wish.So if you find
yourself wishing-----be grateful for the privilege.
Not everyone gets to.