Originally Posted by
MsGrace 
Ok Gang;
I did meet with him. We spent about an hour. Mostly he talked about what detox was like (he nearly died...had to detox for 10 days) His journey in recovery. He talked about meeting his shame. How he was so deluded in thinking he could remain sober without support. I mostly just listened.
He wanted to know if I would see him again. I said no....that I was still very much in my recovery process, but wanted him to know I support his sobriety and wish him well as he walks into his future.
As for me, I think it was good for me. The last sight I had of him was so horrifying, it was a comfort somehow to see him not shaking, not with huge red splotches on his skin. It did bring up the deep sadness still with me. Its still so hard for me to comprehend the disease. So hard to watch a loved one in such a state. I'll just remain compassionate with him...but a clear and firm boundary.
I have to move forward...there is no back to go back to
That is inspirational, thank you for sharing that with us. I know I will be there one day too, and hope to be able to handle it with grace as you have. And by one day I don't mean that my stbxah will ever get sober, I hope he does, but that I hope that one day I will be able say no with the dignity you have. Edited to clarify, I am still so angry, so to tell him no with compassion is beyond my ability right now. I would tell him to go **** himself, like he told me to three weeks ago.