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Old 06-05-2013, 04:45 AM
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ReliableFriend
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Kamloops, BC
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by Ann View Post
Welcome to SR, I'm glad you found us.

All that anger, the hate and the contempt, this all comes because Jay hates himself right now but cannot accept responsibility for his actions so he blames everyone else. How do I know this? Because most of us here have watched our addicted loved ones self destruct in a similar way.

What I learned with my addicted son is that I could not reason with insanity, I could not buy his sobriety nor could I plead, cry, yell, or manipulate him into changing because he didn't want to change, even though it may very well cost him his life in the end.

What helped me and many here was to find our own peace and recovery. Al-anon, Nar-anon and CoDA are three similar fellowships that helped many of us find our balance and move forward. Also, there is a wonderful book called Codependent No More that has been an inspiration and great help to many of us here. It is written for people like us, people who have addicted loved ones. Maybe get a copy and let the entire family read it.

Take a read around, especially the sticky threads at the top of this forum. You'll find a lot of useful information there that may help you too.

Again, welcome. Make yourself comfortable here and know you are among friends.

Hugs
Thank you so much for the fast response. Jay is very well self destructing. But he doesn't put out that he hates himself. He acts like hes very happy with himself, and says clearly that we are just jealous, and said once that hes smarter then all three of our brains combined. Its like he think's hes better then everyone else, and he's so entitled to everything. I know its an act, you can tell he hates his own life and himself. But is this just a front that he is putting up?
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