What it took for me? Well, I felt so bad for him for so many years because he was so misunderstood. And then one night after he had pickled his brain for a sufficient number of years he threatened to kill us all and I left with the clothes on my back and the kids.
I would strongly recommend not waiting that long.
I've known addicts who in recovery have become the most loving amazing people. But looking at the statistics of even the best recovery programs, I'd have to ask myself "do I really want to live with the person this man is TODAY - because that's all I know for sure he'll ever be."