1. who says he has nowhere to go? addicts are quite resourceful - he managed to work THIS cushy scenario for 4 years now, having someone support him...i'm sure he can do so again.
2. yes actually I HAVE known addicts that aren't the scourge of the earth and so hugely selfish that they suck everyone dry.
now THIS guy....he has shown you what he is about...it ain't taking care of his kids, it ain't being a fully present and contributing partner, it's him being a selfish little boy with a huge sense of entitlement. you've had 4 years now to see how he treats life...how he views responsibility and commitment and obligations. that he is "kind" to you is his MO for keeping you as his enabler.
the BEST way to get to the true intent of the addict is to say NO. nope, no more $$, no more carrying your worthless butt, no more accepting an I'm Sorry without seeing any change in behavior. if he was gonna step up and be a man, he would have done so right out the gate.
it's not even about OTHER men, other fish in the sea....it's all about YOU deserving better.