In answer to question number one, it takes what it takes, sounds like you have reached the end of your rope, you are the only one who will act in your own behalf. It's hard, but being unhappy is not good for you, or him.
In asnwer to question number two, yes. Active addiction is a breeding ground for manipulation and selfishess. It's part of the disease.
I hope you will continue to post and welcome to the forum.
Make yourself comfortable. We are here to support and help in anyway we can.
katie