Jess,
one of the questions that came up for me in various guises about various things after quittingv was along the lines of "what is real here?"
as far as relationships, that looked a bit like this: did they seem different because i had "new eyes", so to speak?
what was the possibility/probability that i'd prettied up the ones i had?
and if so, why?
i discovered, for example, that i'd been hanging on to some friendships because deep down i didn't think i deserved better and fooled myself into not acknowledging how unsatisfying they really were.
that kind of stuff.
this is just one example. i found out about places where i was much more scared than i'd realized.
but then again, i found/built new self-sufficiencies, too...
in a way, i'm really relieved i had no idea how far the tentacles reached, how deeply enmeshed, or i might have never kept trying to stop.
but then again, if anyone had told me, i wouldn't have believed them anyway.
Everything is just strange now that I dont drink.
well yes. how could it not be?"the new normal" which is anything but "normal" right now.
flux.
it will get more settled.