Originally Posted by
MagRich 
What is wrong with me! I keep falling off the wagon and resetting myself. I have let everyone down again. Why can I not make the decision to stay quit?? I have been scouring the internet for something that will just make me stop and want to stay stopped. The way that I feel today should be enough. Anxious, shaky, nervous, like a failure. I'm stronger than this.
Mag,
i found it required more than strength.
it took action
takes action.
see, for me, there was no such thing as
something that will just make me stop and want to stay stopped. to be found on the internet.
there is no magic.
you need to DO it.
take the energy you're using to scour the internet looking for the instant fix and use it for talking here. reading the books you already have. reading yet more books. planning for sobriety. finding some drunks to talk with.
sit with your question
Why can I not make the decision to stay quit?? The way that I feel today should be enough.
the way i felt on any given day....yeah, that was good for a few hours.
and then i felt differently.
hm.....what you say about your family's rumblings about a 30-day thing....hm.....you're seeing it as waaayyy over the top in relation to this spot you're in?
good to see you back posting and connecting here.