sunnshinegirl, how you are feeling is very typical for victims of an abusive, exploitative relationship--such as you have been living in for a long time. It distorts your reality and makes you doubt yourself---fills you with self doubt and feelings that you may be responsible. This is why you must continue to take steps and stay focused--good that you are reading these posts over and over. Good that you have done some pro-active steps already. Hon, can you get away from the house and call the DV center? They will make this so much easier you. Just talk to them in complete confidence. They are not going to pressure you in any way--they are very experienced with this and they will work with you.
You have all of the strength you need inside yourself. When you need it, it will appear.
Trust in the others who have been through this themselves.
Also, detach from him when he is talking--remembering that he is coming from an alcoholically warped mind. Doing chores does not make him an angel--he owes you that. You supported him. Actually, I have known several Bas****s who were very conscientious about doing chores!!! Do you believe doing chores entitles anyone to be abusive or to treat someone else "less than"?
sunnshine, you can come out of this. Please reach out and take the hands of those who want to help--arrange to make that call.
very sincerely, dandylion