RobbyRobot

Not that I actually know, since I'm not you Jess, but isn't that kind of "drinking lifestyle" already out of your reach when drunk too? And has been for awhile now? I mean, why did you even end up not drinking if the drinking lifestyle had what you really want? I'm sure you would have kept drinking if things were working out with drinking being in your lifestyle?

I believe its good your relationships with others are/is changing, not sure why you think the changes equate to losses now that you're not drinking. If drinking so much defined those relationships, the realization of what that may imply is all too obvious and perhaps painful when faced soberly.

I'm wondering in your life either when drinking or when not drinking do you generally feel on the top of situations, in charge of what challenges you, at your best when put to the test -- or -- do you generally feel at the trailing end of things, pushed around by life's misfortunes, mostly struggling just to find some comfort and authentic awareness of the idea that "life is good?"

None of my business, so sorry if my questions seem intrusive.

I would like to suggest you are more important in your own life, and in the life of others, then you appear to present yourself as being. I see you as running yourself down a bit, and I'm asking if you like yourself best when drinking or not drinking. Put lifestyle choices to the side for a moment please.

Do you identify mostly with a drunk Jess?

And if so, do you feel lost without a strong sober identity?

Either way, Jess