Dbaguy, he does know I won't confront him. It's not my nature coming from an abusive home to begin with, I always shy away from anger and conflict. That is a huge part of my problem. I thought I could keep managing somehow but as Anvilhead said I posted about how much money he spends and I'm going broke trying to keep up with his spending habits that keep escalating. My attorney has given me steps to protect myself financially and I have done those so that's progress and she stands ready to deliver the news I'm gone when I leave so I've been proactive in that way. I'm going out with my friend tomorrow to look at apartments and rooms I think I can afford and I'm going to visualize myself in a different environment and keep pushing myself to act. Anvilhead, that was helpful to me to ask what does an angel look like because really he did chores for me willingly and without any complaint and that's what it looked like. And I'm trying to get it through my thick head I'm not responsible for him because it sure feels as though I am. Somewhere along the way I lost me but I'm every day taking another step forward. Thanks everyone so much for your encouragement. All of your posts have been so helpful to me and I thank you. I reread them when I'm filled with self doubt.