sunshine, when you said "sunday he was an angel" what did that really LOOK like? I just wonder that as things have continued to get worse, if your idea of "good or better" is really just bare minimum acceptable? like you have to keep lowering the bar?
since you are the only income earner, you have much more "power" at your disposal than his mind control assault allows you to believe. in other threads you said he spends money like crazy...you have control over that. you have the freedom and financial means to leave at any time.
however I would caution that you do so with care. he sounds like a ticking time bomb. have the plan in place first, have a secure safe place to go, have all your things in order. you really need to get out of there and away from him. when they have us shut in a house with doors and windows ordered to be shut and stay shut and it's 90 degrees it IS that bad. the fact that he took the garbage out the other day does not balance the scales. you're like the frog cooking in the pot...you don't notice how hot it's getting til ya start to cook!
you are NOT responsible for him. he's a full grown adult. whatever he thinks, feels or chooses to do, HE OWNS. over the time you two have been together, your presence alone has not been the magic balm to make everything with him ok. cuz it doesn't work like that. you are responsible for YOU. and it's time to take the responsibility seriously!!!