From what I understand there are plenty of people with these disorders who can function just fine in society. I think the disorder makes it easier for people to act in a dysfunctional manner by it doesn't mean they have to.
I am a very compassionate person but I do not have a strong sense of empathy. I don't always connect at an emotional level with the way people are feeling. However I can connect at an intellectual level. I can relate to the fact that I have felt that way and have compassion even if I don't always connect at the emotional level.
I hope this makes sense. I believe is was due to being raised in a dysfunctional alcoholic home.
I am working hard right now on reconnecting with my emotions and I think I have come a long way. Having a real sense of empathy may be out of reach. I'll just have to wait and see.
However this doesn't make me a bad person and it doesn't mean I treat people badly. I know what correct behavior is and I have feelings as well. I just don't pick up on other people's cues very well. It is still not an excuse for asocial behavior or being nasty and mean. I don't treat people that way because I don't like to be treated that way.
So, just because he is narcissistic doesn't mean he has to be a jerk.
I also believe through mindfulness work it is possible to rewire your brain. There are a lot of interesting things going on in neuroplasticity.
Your friend,