Sunshinegirl,
When my STBAXH threatened to make our children parentless - I went to the police and he was arrested. My good friend waited there for me and after I filed my report...she questioned me about what had been going on...how long had he been so controlling and scary.
I minimized his actions out of habit as I told her about different instances and events.
She said something to me that I will never forget. She said, "Honey, your barometer is off...you have lost the sense to know when his treatment of you has crossed the line."
Thinking of you sitting in that sweltering home....that statement from my friend came to mind again. His treatment of you has resulted in your sense of self and sense of what is okay and not okay being completely thrown off.
THIS IS NOT OKAY.
I'm glad you are taking the steps you need to. But don't wait too long. You will have the courage when you need it, you will....just as dandylion said.
We are rooting for you.
Hugs and strength
MamaKit