(((((SoloJohn)))))
I was 9 years sober when I was diagnosed as a BiPolar. I had been becoming more and more miserable in my sobriety. Friends that I knew that had gotten sober when I did seemed to be having a pretty good life, and I was miserable.
It reached the point that I was asking at various meetings I went to if anyone knew of a good psych doctor because I was ready to be locked up in a straight jacket in a padded cell for the rest of my life.
Fortunately, I got the same name from several different people and I did go and see her. Worked with her for almost 8 years. She got my meds through trial and error literally to a good combination that is still working today. She was the one that I worked with to finally see that I started 'self medicating' at 12 1/2 years old and for years the alcohol and some drugs were what kept me functioning.
I find it interesting that a psych doc has been able to diagnose her when most reputable ones, that are familiar with alcoholism will not even work with an alcoholic until they are at a minimum 6 months sober and clean and preferably 1 year. Why? Because alcoholism can 'mimic' many other mental illnesses.
So whatever she is eventually diagnosed with, it is not your problem! It is her problem!
Focus on you, be nice to you. When you get up in the morning and look in the mirror, tell that person, I love you! every day! It does help us to change our ways of doing things, and in the process we become better folks. Kinder, thoughtful, caring, and compassionate human beings to our fellow man (be they a spouse, parent, sibling, cousin, friend, etc)
Figure out your personal boundaries. No you don't have to tell her, these are your boundaries just for you. Also figure out what you will do (walk away, hang up the phone, not respond to a text message or email, etc) and then do it. The more you practice these actions the better you will feel in time!
I am so glad to see you continue to post, it shows just how serious you are about you. Albeit confused, but very serious about your own recovery.
Thank you for being a part of SR!
Love and hugs,