Hi, all.
I'm a little bit wiped out emotionally, but overall Ok. I was at the property in question. Usually I'm just freaking out before going there - it evokes a lot of emotions and hurtful memories. My Mom passed away there. It's like rotating a knife in the wound. But today it was different. I got myself together. It was just a first step, but a long journey begins with nothing but a first step.
And still no 'rewarding" myself after. My mind still laps behind the body - while my body is definitely more than happy with all that, mind wants all this "rewarding' stuff. Or, to be more precise, it's the beast.
Anyway, it's been almost two weeks since I made my big plan and I can tell - It does help me. During these two weeks I've never been on binge eating, though this time's been quite stressful to me.
Jeni - kudos to you for turning down this urge. You act like a real badass.
And what a great description you've made! I love this Jeni - true authentic Jeni.
I am with you about BELIEVE IN MYSELF.
'Sophisticated self-harm!' - Wow. What a term! I thinks that's what I've been doing for a long time fore myself too.
I think if you just add more veggies, fruit, lean meat and other healthy food, it would be just great. One step at a time - you are dealing with smoking now, and there's surely now use to overwhelm yourself with calories counting, etc.
"the real Jen gets scared, that's ok, but she doesn't hide from it. No, she holds her head up high and walks straight through the middle of it. She's badass. That's for sure." - I love it!!!!
You are doing great, my Badass Pal. So glad for you)
Oh, I didn't get this "cutting onions" either first.))))
Bloss - there's absolutely no use to give power to doubt. It has no power of its own, so it sucks ours. Once we stop feeding it, it dies. Hope your mood will be better soon.
Best wishes to all)