Thanks for the comments.
Maybe think about this a minute. Your Jailbird-ex -- did she screw him over more than she did you? I follow the "Make an excuse" routine, but you may have the more common experience with them. More than any of the rest of the enablers on Did Not Invite list.
Yes, he also was victim. But regarding the "enablers," comment, I am speaking about HIS side of the family, independent of EXAG and her disease. No enabling there, just HIS desire for CONTROL. He has done some horrible things to my EXAG, myself, and the kids over the last 14 years since their divorce.
Only person who really screwed everyone over was/is Jailbird.
I couldn't DISAGREE more. It is so easy to place ALL BLAME on the alcoholic. But there have been 4 parents involved in the lives of these children. None of us are perfect, and the other side of the family is full of blatant disfunction. This is independent of EXAG. I say this without taking any blame away from EXAG. But I know she is not the only person to blame.
Whenever you get ready to take the Goddess down from the pedestal and the picture down from the wall, you will likely figure it out.
She is not on a pedestal in my mind. At all.
... If you don't mind, I would like to start a new thread with this comment. It is actually something I have been thinking about for a few days.