Ok... so I feel a bit hypercritical. In my first thread "I dated an alcoholic" I talked about my experience and in the end kicking him out which was the best solution for myself. And YES life has been good since I'm no longer in relationship with him.. my life is peaceful... no stress... no abuse... no fighting... no nothing... except the resentment towards him that I cant seem to shake off
SO why do I still have resentment towards him? I know, I know... I'm still hurt from all the pain, from the breakup of what could been if he was only sober... I get it.
However, I cant help but to feel
every now and then of what he put me through:
* The abuse.. mentally, emotionally, verbally, physically, and sexual assault?
* The guilt.. of it "always" being my fault.
* His lies.. he had so many I lost count.
* His mood swings... like jekyll and hyde... yikes
* His controlling behavior.
* His EVERYDAY drinking.. the list goes on and on and on and on and on...
All I want to do is cry and feel sorry for myself but on the other hand I DON'T because if I do I see it as him winning and winning isn't what he deserves. He deserves to be ALONE! Therefore, he can take his abusive ways, mind games, lies, mood swings, controlling behavior and the love of his life, alcohol, and drift off very far, far away...
With that said he can... Go to, you're a dry fool; I'll no more of you:
besides, you grow dishonest