but I also know we can't do that work until AH is in a place of healing for himself
Liz, you do know that this is pretty much the same as saying:
but I also know we can't do that work until AH is in a place of healing and has finally grown a third eye for himself
This isn't a character defect. It is who he is. Through medication and hard work he may reach a place where he can do a pretty good job of faking empathy but he will never feel it. It's just not part of him.
Your friend,