Originally Posted by
fedup3 
My x had NPD as well and when he wanted to be charming he could sweep you off your feet, but it was only with words. He would often tell all our friends that I was too good for him. I should have listened to him the first time he said that, ugh.
Same here!! My therapist suspects my XA has either NPD, APD or a combination of the two. And I, also, should have listened when, during our first big fight, my XA told me I deserved better than him. Instead, I held on tighter and cried, "DON'T say that about yourself - there's NOTHING wrong with you!! And don't tell me what I deserve or don't deserve!!" Funnily enough, many times AFTER that argument and up until the night he dumped me by text, I thought to myself, "It's not that I deserve better
THAN him, it's that I deserve to be treated better
BY him." And then, in classic codie fashion, I would quickly run down my always-handy 'mental list' of reasons (a/k/a EXCUSES) as to why he treated me the way he did (bad childhood, dysfunctional family, hurt by love too many times, etc.) so I wouldn't have to deal with the reality of that nagging little thought.
