Cambell, I so relate to what you've written. I was for the longest time wondering how I got myself in this mess and just couldn't move forward. Thanks to this board and some great support, I've been able to get into the frame of mind of taking care of myself and starting the journey to leaving. And to answer your question, I do think it will get better for you. It's a long journey of self discovery and some of it is very painful. Just want to tell you I admire you and I'm glad you are starting to care for yourself.