Hugs, SoloJohn.
I understand how confusing it is to interact with an A. We try to make sense of their words / actions, but can't. You know why? Because they don't make sense. They aren't the least bit rational when they are actively using. I think they are able to convince themselves that they are, and they just say / do things with such confidence so that others are convinced too.
Have you read the "Quackers" thread yet? Quacking is how we on SR refer to it when our As are not making sense. There are so many examples that the thread has been split in two. Here is a link to the first part:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ackers-17.html
Reading this thread will help you identify some of the crazy... And know that she is not unique in her own brand of it. Identifying the crazy, and picturing it as a giant quacking duck, has helped me to detach from it. I have no need for that much duck in my life. Also, the thread is disturbingly amusing at times. Hopefully, it will help you crack a smile today.
Peace,
Fathom