I'm a very simple person so I don't want to sound trite but here's my take on it: I would like a pound for every time I've said never, ever again. This is not because I'm weak. This is not because I didn't mean it at the time. At the time I really, really, deep down from the bottom of my heart, from my innermost soul do not ever want to drink again. But, that inner strength (call it what you will) somehow, dissipates!. It's a bit like being on a diet. Everyone knows we can lose weight, stop eating cake, stop eating foods we like, but only for so long, then we cave in, that inner resolve dies, it weakens, then we are back on the same old again. That's why nearly everyone is overweight. I've come to the conclusion (for me) I like the initial first drink or two, that nice easy feeling with the world, that everything in the world is just fine, an inner glow, everyone is lovely, all my friends are beautiful, the cares of the day dissipate into thin air and I feel calm, confident, witty, charming, attractive even. But. Another glass and we are past that and it's all downhill from then on. So. If I could just stick to one or two glasses, absolutely NO MORE then I would be fine. Perfection. Or one cake a week etc, no excess weight gain, but we can't so we are forever vigilant, forever on a diet. So if I can't go into the pub without first knowing I won't drink, then I won't go. But, because I'm only human it's hard. I don't know any more than that and I've been alive for a little while now. But, with time it does get easier, especially when I wake up feeling good, not great any more, but better, much, much better that the alternative which is the nearest thing to hell that I can imagine. X