View Single Post
Old 05-28-2013, 06:07 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Newatthis34
Member
 
Newatthis34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ireland
Posts: 300
Just want to jump in with my experience when I have attempted to utilise the concept of the Big Plan.
Last year I made a BP but drank again after 5 weeks sobriety. I spent the next year trying to quit again but perversely found it impossible to gather the momentum and resolve to say to myself 'This time I'm not changing my mind'. l felt so depressed after my BP turned out to be no better than the usual hungover morning thoughts of 'Never again' that I think it was actually counter-productive to quitting. Making another BP (which in my mind is a logical contradiction) didn't seem possible. Moreover to try to do this was in a way like setting myself up for failure because after all I had said the same previously and look how that turned out. fini has discussed this exact problem on previous threads.
I've quit again but it feels different than last year and even earlier this year when I stopped for a while but couldn't bring myself to mentally even go there with a BP. My problem is that the BP felt like a separate formula that, if I had applied it correctly, would result in perfect sobriety. Now I feel that in my case, the plan, big or otherwise, must originate from within. It must be completely integrated with other aspects of my life and what my goals are. It must be holistic. This is where I do like Robby Robot - I take what I want from AVRT and leave the rest!!
If the BP means something to me now it is more like the moment of unveiling or realisation, that epiphany when what you must do (ie quit alcohol) is for once and for all known and understood. That is indeed a point of no return in addiction I believe and hugely momentous. But in of itself it does not guarantee sobriety.
Newatthis34 is offline