I actually had a similar situation.
I moved to the town he grew up in. I knew from the begining it was not a "forever" place for me, though I overall have enjoyed my time here.
We regularly discussed moving while we were dating. At the time he was not sure he wanted to be back here, was unhappy with his job etc.
We got married, and almost right afterwards I realized drinking was a part of my marriage. Part of it (I don't know if it was directly related to drinking or not) was the fact that all of a sudden it was MY FAULT that I did not love where I was, he was not moving, he was the man and we should follow him (though I made more, and am a professional in my own right). He accused me of being selfish for wanting to take him away from his family, his friends etc.
I really struggled feeling like it was my fault that he had not "heard" me about not wanting to be here. I felt like I did not say it right, I was not straightforward enough etc.
Now looking back, I was very clear about it (I told him within an hour of him proposing that I could not live in my town forever and he needed to know that if this was going to work). It was just another example of how I took it all on as my fault.
I was primed to take it all on, he was primed to give it all to me. I was also ready for peace at any costs....but that only worked for so long.
He would be furious when I would talk about applying for jobs other places just for something different. It was a no-win situation for me, and it took me a long time to realize I was not being selfish, but was trying to put my needs into the mix which is more like self-care.
I am sorry that was a hard place for me to be.