MidnightBlue

Great job on writing the Big Plan, Jeni)

And I can so much relate to "like being badass but just don't feel it most of the time". I think it's a work in progress, like building a house brick by brick. Walking the road step by step, and with every step there will be more badass and less AV in us)

My AV's been also ruthless since then. And today it's been just extremely cruel. I think it's because the beast is agonizing. It didn/t even whisper, it almost shouted at me things like:

"Look at your belly that is sticking out again - why are you waisting your time in the gym? Just look at this "badass' - you are pathetic."

"You say that you are a writer? I haven't seen anything published yet. You even don't have guts to revise drafts of two novels you've written. Come on, who are you trying to fool here. Yourself?"

I felt so bad, I almost burst into tears in the gym. For a moment it made me hate myself and feel a loser.

But it didn't last long though.

[QUOTE=Discussing things with the beast is about as productive as discussing them with a horse. It's not going to work.[/QUOTE]

Soberlicious - that was brilliant! It was the piece of puzzle I missed. I went on and on overintellectualizing it, and forgot who I am dealing with here.

I just got a kick when imagined me discussing with a horse why it shouldn't fling me off, rear back, or whatever.))))

THANK YOU!


Jeni, during my workout I was thinking about you as well and these lines came to my mind:

I'm badass. I'm no joke.
Don't mess up with me, addiction!
No way I'll ever smoke.
Don't feed me you BS fiction.

I hope your day is going Ok.

See you later)