Originally Posted by laura2013

My live in bf is an alcoholic who does not want to get help. I didn't know he was an alcoholic til he moved in nine months ago. For the past 6 months I have tried to get him to get help. His solution is to see a counselor once a week and cut down on his drinking (which he has -- now not drunk EVERY day, but about 2X a week). Even so, he is an addict and is in denial. A few weeks ago, I tried to end the relationship but he convinced me to go to counseling with him. The counselor confirmed what I thought, that he is an alcoholic who needs rehab / professional help (more than she can give in a one hour session once a week). I gave him two weeks to quit drinking or he'd have to move. He looked into rehab and AA but had an excuse why none of those would work for him. He then told me that he was going to do it his way -- give up alcohol for 30 days and reassess things after that. (I knew this was BS.) That was 1 week ago. Not surprisingly he drank at least 2 times that I know of. The second time, I told him I knew he'd been drinking and he said "I don’t know what you are talking about.” I just said, never mind – doesn’t matter. I know I have to really break it off and go through with it this time. (He is living in my house so he will have to move.) He is out of town til Tuesday (3 days from now) and I plan on having the talk as soon as he comes back. He is in total denial and keeps acting like nothing is wrong!
I need help on what to say so that he knows I mean it. He will get mad and start yelling and I don’t even want to engage in that. What is the best way to handle it? I know I will need to repeat things (broken record), but what is the proper wording I should use to neutralize his response as much as possible? (I should add that I still love him tremendously but know this is the best for both of us. Breaking my codepency is another matter for later…)