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Old 05-25-2013, 11:40 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
1stthingsfirst
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 250
On day 10 here. I love the discussion that has taken place about confidence and sobriety. I made the personal mistake of being too confident and thinking that alcohol consumption (in a mythical form of "moderation") was okay/possible for me.

Most people can moderate their alcohol consumption, but I don't think they are hanging out on boards like soberrecovery.com. I think we are a desperate bunch, our Addictive Voice telling us that we are "normal" and not like so-and-so that we read about on the boards. It is internal dialogue like that that pricks up my ears. I know it is IT talking and not me. Logic tells me (plus mystery bruises, soiled shirts, people asking me about plans I never remember making, etc.) that I am not a normal drinker. I crossed that line a couple of years ago. There is no going back for me.

Even if I did moderate in terms of actual drinks consumed, there would still be this all-consuming obsession about drinking that would take away any type of ease or relaxation with drinking. It could never be fun again.
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