Hey, I understand the fear so strong it makes you sick...do you know when I first started going to therapy I would actually throw up before going... I would wake with chest pains and in the grip of anxiety and I honestly don't know how I got myself to those first few appointments...but I HAD to do it, I HAD to sort my head out with someone who could help me get through my issues.
Now, I don't know anything about your situation with your brother, but you DO need a place to live. So you will stand up tall, you will organise whatever needs to be put in place, and you will do it fairly and maturely...because you are deserving of what's right and fair in your life. I have no idea of the circumstances so I can't really comment on the process involved, but I know you CAN do whatever it takes, and you can keep the AV at bay while you do it...
Badass remember....no-one messes with you?!