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Old 12-19-2004, 06:58 PM
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S-ROD
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Woburn, Ma
Posts: 30
relapse on holidays?

Do people usually relapse on holidays. This x-mas will be the worst one yet. First i won't have my drugs, i won't have my boyfriend(would have been our 7th together), i don't have money what else can i say . I feel so stressed out and i don't know where to run. I feel like i need to get high. I get sick thinking about actually getting a pill (oc) and snorting it. But i just want to be high. I feel so depressed. My parents won't let me see my ex right now because they blame him. I could have stopped by myself when i left him but i got worse. They hate him so much and i still love him. We went out for 6 years. I was 15 when we first started dating. and we did drugs together for 2 years. I know that killed our relationship but I still have feelings for him and same goes for me. Plus these holidays...going into a store to shop is hard for me. I swear i have social anexity now. I used to be fine when i was high. Walk in like i owned the place. Plus i have no job right now, i have been babysitting for family friends and spending it all on x-mas presents and that stresses me out. And the million people at the malls and in the parking lots and people fight ing with you over a spot. Is it sad to say i do not have a holiday spirt this year. Today was day 49 for me and I don't know if i'll make it this week. this is the first time i just want to use anything. I did oc's but anything sound nice just to get away from this stess :hairout and depression ....
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