you mention that you derive a great deal of self esteem from your job...I believe it was Earnie Larson (recovering addict who wrote some fabulous books about recovery etc) called that being a Human Doing rather than a Human Being. self esteem should come from........SELF. simply by being. not by what we do, what we have, who we are with. ideally we should be a couple days out from a shower, in grubbies or pj's, doing absolutely nothing redeeming and be OK.
you mentioned when you had your car accident you called everyone you knew for help. easiest way to make SURE you get the help you need is....good ole AAA. they WILL respond, they WILL come assist you. we need to learn to properly allocate our "need based" issues....house catches fire, we call the fire dept, get in a car wreck, call 911 and AAA or other coverage. health issue? go to the doctor. feeling the need for love and validation? look to OURSELVES. need help sorting out life's issues? get a good therapist. self sufficiency is about learning what resources work to our benefit....learning where to go for the things that ARE beyond our abilities.