Judge didn't grant final RO
We had the hearing yesterday for the final RO petition and the judge threw out xAH's request for a RO on me (filed after he had one put on him after being arrested for assaulting me several weeks ago) but also did NOT grant me a permanent one for the next year because in his estimation (the judge) xAH doesn't pose an imminent danger. The only thing I got was that xAH can not come to the house for the next 30 days and during this next month if he violates that we will go back to court and the judge will re-asses the permanent RO.
I had the dom violence advocate from the prosecutors office there with me (no lawyer bc I don't have any more money to pay him right now).
I had copious notes, screen shots printed out of texts, emails, even a witness to prior threatening behavior. The judge didn't want to see/hear any of it. I asked to have contact limited to email, texts and ONLY be about the girls and that wasn't granted. The judge stated that he "trusts" us both to put the girls needs first and interact respectfully etc... Yeah right.
It lasted all of about 10 min. (the hearing)
I know I should be grateful for getting something but the past few weeks of NO texts, no calls, no contact have been peaceful.
No surprise that last night, alcohol fueled no doubt, the texts started. I glanced at them bc if they were about the girls I wasn't going to be accused of ignoring his requests for time etc...
They were insulting, name calling, accusatory (total projection and telling me he is frightened of me and hopes my emotional instability will be addressed or he may be forced to continue to seek a RO against me because I am a danger to myself and our daughters).
I called the prosecutors office this morning and asked the advocate at what point do these texts become harassment. She said that I would be best to save them, not reply (duh!) and bring it all with me when we go back in 30 days.
I sent him one text last night. It read:
"I will communicate with you about times to schedule seeing the girls, drop off and pick up location and any health/medical/schedule needs or issues that have to do with the girls. I will not reply to anything other than concrete matters that involve our daughters. I am turning off my phone so if there is a matter that MUST be addressed regarding the girls, I will get back to you in the morning".
When I got up today there were 14 new messages. All insulting. None having to do with the girls.
I had a peaceful few weeks and am fighting back tears today bc of this. I don't want to have any part of his craziness in my life. I don't want to have to have contact. I don't want to have to try and not let his words get to me.
I feel like I try to be strong ALL THE TIME and inside today I feel like I am VERY close to crumbling. I was bawling last night when the texts starting coming from him-- not bc of what they said (though that was part of it) but because of the change so immediately from having NO contact and how nice it was to having to deal with his flavor of crazy again...
I just needed to get this off my chest and "talk" about it... Thanks for listening...
I am at this moment making plans to go away for a night with the girls this weekend and just be out of town and am looking forward to that.