Sombrero: I am struggling now more than I have before. To answer your question, I often will make a deal with myself that "I won't drink at all this week", and 9 times out of 10 I won't make it. On the flip side of that, sometimes I will go a week or longer (not MUCH longer) without even a drop without even intending to. Today, for instance, I have no desire whatsoever to drink. Maybe it's because of the hangover as I'm not much of a "hair of the dog" kind of person. I really need to do some soul searching.
Smacked: I know all about recovering, having had a drug problem in my "past life". Somehow my idea of recovering from addiction doesn't include alcohol. Maybe I'm delusional, maybe I'm not.
Dee: Very good point indeed. I want to figure out who I am now. Who I want to be. I'm scared of wasting more time. I'm scared of waking up in another two years and being in the EXACT SAME PLACE I'm in now, where I've been for several years now. Something's definitely gotta give. I'm so tired of being little girl lost. Support and understanding are exactly what I'm seeking.