HI it is possible to stay sober when your spouse drinks heavily .... very difficult BUT possible.
Always have a suply of yummy non-alcoholical drinks (juice , softt drink , herbal tea etc).
Establish a support network and lean on it .... your Mum , AA, SR, SR chat,sober friends.
You will need to come up with strategies for social events ... theones you use will depend on the social setting ... I rarely leave the house without by travelling tea mug ... and always take my own soft drinks when i go somewhere.
It is very hard having alcohol in the house ... I had to make sure it ws not in my direct vision .. I moved it to a different bench .. I know it is there .. but I see it less.
The time i now spend wiith my kids is quality time .. a lot more relaxing then it used to be.. I can now drive them to functions whenever they are on .. not depending on if I have been drinking or not.
I t can be done.
Good luck