Dealing with emotions can be a hard thing. I am journaling again which for me is a form of meditation. I sit at my kitchen table, everything is quiet and simply listen. As emotions or thoughts bubble up I write them down and see where they lead. Sometimes they start in one place and end up someplace totally different but I can see the path I had to take to get there.
For example I have had some unfocused anxiety lately and couldn't put my finger on it. Today I asked myself what wrong, why do I feel that way. I started writing that I was upset because it is around the 2 year anniversary of when I moved out from my AW. Then just some stream of thought ramblings a note on how I have started training Jiu Jitsu again at 59 and that is was good to get out and have hobbies and suddenly in the pit of my stomach I realized that the Jiu Jitsu was the key. I realized that I am getting old, not that I am old or can't do stuff but I'm not 30 anymore. I can't do stuff I used to do or I do it slower or it takes me longer than it used to.
My anxiety was fear of getting old. Of course everyone gets old but it was starting to show itself in little ways I couldn't ignore anymore and I was scared.
The funny thing was taking that fear out and looking at it all of a sudden it wasn't near as much of a big deal. I'm still going to train and I'm going to accept that I'm not as young as I used to be and that's ok.
So, back to my point, a journal can be a good tool for bringing those emotions out into the light of day and when there is nothing going on in your head it is simple quiet time as you listen for things to pop up.
Oh, yeah, I journal with pen and paper and so far I almost never go back and read what I wrote.
Your friend,