Originally Posted by Reedling

What didn't work for me at all is the oft-repeated advice that what other people think of me is none of my business, or that I shouldn't care what other people think. That advice worked for me about like stabbing my shame with a fork... I felt shame about feeling shame!

We are inherently social creatures. When you meet someone who truly doesn't care about the opinions and feelings of others, it's best to run. Probably most people posting here have dealt with someone who is like this at least some of the time, thanks to one chemical or another.

The personal strength to take an unpopular stance is not about not caring what others think, that is about caring very much and wanting to make things better for everyone.

P.S. Whenever I ~first~ break a dysfunctional family rule, even when I'm certain of my values, I have a big old wash of shame. The second and third time I break the rule, some shame but less. And so on. I thought it was important to mention this because at first it can feel SO BAD to do something healthy, if we aren't prepared for this shame backlash maybe we will think we've made a huge mistake!