As long as I was looking for other's opinions of what I was doing, I was still relying on others. In essence, just asking other people to help me define my behavior is codependent behavior.
I'm still working on being an 'independant' observer of my actions. Learning to determine if what I'm doing fits the mold of 'who I want to be'. I'm still defining who I want to be, so my evaluations are still pretty fluid and prone to some internal dishonesty (that i'm also starting to become more aware of).
I've been reading about 'mindfulness' and find that helpful. Tich Nhat Hanh has several easy to read books that I've found helpful. Especially "Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child". I find a lot of my self confusion came from not caring for my inner child. I abandoned him much like I was abandoned as a child. I still don't know him well enough and he doesn't trust me yet. But we are working on our relationship.