its early in recovery for ya and yer gonna be on a roller coaster. them hills and valleys will get closer as time goes on.
i questioned every friggin thing in early reacovery. took a firend with a hammer and chisel to get it through my head that i dont need the answer to all the "whys." what i had to do is just accept it. and funny thing is, that when i accepted that i didnt have an answer for question, many times the answers just came.
then theres the questions i didnt( and still dont) get the answers for. those are the ones i dont need the answer to.
is it necessary to figure out why? welp, is it doin ya any good trying to figger it out? i am sure you can find 1,328,592 reasons why if ya look hard enough. or ya can just accept it. it will be a lot easier on ya and give ya more time to focus on more important things.