I know the feeling of being the one who is blamed, who is called crazy. My mom was an A, my dad re-married a very abusive woman and hid in the garage so he wouldnt have to deal with it, there was physical abuse all over my extended family that I somehow landed in the middle of as a teen, my sister is an A, lived with abusive men and married an abusive A. But I am the one everyone will call (and does) crazy when I call the pot black. All of a sudden its "poor Terrispots, I dont know what happened to her that she is so unhappy that she has to make up these stories"... UGH!
Like your family, everyone is in such denial and always has been, so that they dont have to deal with it. If they believe us, they cant go on with their charade!