just some advice/support
Hi
So I'm new to the forum and started reading some threads before joining. Bit about me..parents never married and seperated soon after my birth. From here. them had kids prior to me very young; my dad altogether has 5 (2 younger than me with new wife) and my mom 4.
Mother is a
mean alchoholic from a mean alcholic. Father grew up strict Portuguese...hes got a huge temper that I grew up with till I was 11 and then moved in with my mom.
Was sexually abused by my moms husband that I later found out down the road she knew all about it and it happened to my older sister and younger cousin. At 14 I moved out of the house because I'd started cutting and knew I needed help.
My mom has a history of threatening to commit suicide and around my 15th birthday she began drinking and partying from stress and it went downhill at the deaths of her mom,dad, and brother. It wasn't until the last 5 years things have gotten truly bad between us, since most of my teenage years I stayed well away due to her husband.
I temporarily moved in with her and same how bad she'd gotten drinking constantly, popping a ton of anxiety pills, and has now taken up drinking nyquil.
She at bone point kicked me out threw my things out in the street and threatened to lie to the police and yell them I stabbed her because I'd fought with her and then taken the stash of beer she had that night because she'd already drank two bottles of vodka and couldn't stand.
I moved halfway across the US BG my father in 2010; things were OK between us for awhile. Then she July 4th 2012 she started up with suicide again, still drinking at this point, and telling me if I didn't forgive her for the molestation situation I was selfish. I tried to talk with her but she told men to go F*** myself and blocked me.
I haven't talked to her since then but received 46 text messages stating what a **** aunt, bad person I was how my father and family wanted me ideas and that I should go and die, among other things. I responded with get help or she wasn't going to be part of my life anymore. I would support sobriety but not this.
She involved her two other children, whom then basically attacked me with saying I was selfish and heartless doe telling her those things and that I didn't care about her. Keep in mind my sister was also one that was moleated. And told me that I had to forgive my stepfather.years ago form the molestation so my mother could have a happy Christmas.
I spent the majority of yesterday alternatively sobbing and silently raging over this whole mess again, and its making me wonder if I need to cut off contact with my two siblings now as well. I refuse to talk to my mother as it is; I'm so emotionally and mentally detached that it doesn't bother me to cut her off it only relieves me of any anxiety and anger I feel when I'm in contact with her.
The only thing that shops me are my nieces and nephews; I probably wouldn't be able to see them again if I did that. I'm just not sure where to go Frombhere