It's never too late my friend. Some of the strongest members in my AA home group are men and women who had to drink for 30-40 years before they were broken enough to admit they needed help. It sounds as if you have the willingness, which is all you need for a start. I bet there are some amazing stories of recovery right there in Scotland. Rather than regretting all that alcohol has taken from you, be grateful you are still alive and God willing have many years left to share with others. Maybe you could start with an AA meeting today? Don't get mired in regret - we have a saying in my home group: "Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery." We can't change the past - all of us regret what we've done (and not done) while drinking. We can see the wreckage once we stop pouring the booze in our heads. But your alcoholism wants you to feel guilt, which is a sure fire way back to the bottle. The better move is to forget that all happened and focus on NOW. what can you do TODAY that is different than the course you have been on? I would suggest an AA meeting, and get a sponsor. God bless!