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Old 05-21-2013, 02:39 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Recovering2
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,407
My RABF is sober 6 months this week, and I am grateful. But I have to admit, there was enormous personal pain, and he caused a lot of damage when he was drinking. While I was happy when he got sober, I had a hard time letting go of the past. I wanted an apology NOW for all he had done to me. He was working hard on his recovery, and I could see that, but I still had a hard time with what had happened.

It wasn't until I became involved in AlAnon that I learned how to make peace with it, and let it go. I listened to a young woman in recovery one night say how she was glad that she didn't apologize to family before she got to the 9th step. Had she done it earlier to make them happy, she wouldn't have really understood what she was apologizing for. When she was ready, it was heartfelt and real. That story stuck with me. I realized I had to give him the time and space for his recovery, and trust that things would happen when they were meant to happen.

Is your partner in AlAnon? Are you in a recovery program? As time goes on, things get better. But it definitely takes work on both sides.

Congrats on your sobriety, wishing you continued health.
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