Urgh!!
Ok so I made it 20 days with not a drop and last weekend I wanted to have few drinks...
Surprisingly I was able to control myself. I had 2 drinks on Friday, 2 drinks on Saturday but then 6 on Sunday...Even on Sunday I was able to stop at 6 pm and go to bed early so that the drinking didn't effect my work...
Now I feel weird! I'm mentally back where I started. After 20 days sober I felt amazing!! Now it's back to the same "no confidence on me sober, after few drinks I'm so much more social, I feel so horrible not being able to do this for me..."
But then again I feel like I have learned something. I was able to control it and noticed that it wasn't fun at all like that!!! Needing to stop after 2 or even 6 just pissed me off...I felt like I was wasting calories and a good buzz...
I am very happy to see that I was in control and didn't get wasted but it was more painful than being sober...Counting drinks and hours when I need to stop...really not relaxing...and of course worrying about all the money spent...
I think I'm one of those people who wants to go all the way or not at all...
I will choose not at all...At least I tried the third option but it's not for me...
I hope you guys had a better weekend
