Thread: One year!
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Old 05-21-2013, 08:42 AM
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OneLessLonely
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Join Date: May 2012
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One year!

One year ago today, I woke up hungover, anxious, eyes puffy from who knows what emotional turmoil I perceived the night before, and sick of doing it to myself. I sat on the couch with some variety of cheese and chips for my breakfast and did the familiar check of my phone and facebook, only to be horrified yet again at what I'd said to people. This was, by far, not one of my worst episodes, but I was just so tired of the routine misery drinking was causing me. I had tried to moderate/quit before on my own with no success. I googled something along the lines of, "Am I an alcoholic?" And I found SR. One year ago today, I spent the whole day reading on here. The more I read, the more I found people who thought the ways I thought and understood me. Many of these people had achieved, and/or were achieving, sobriety, and I started really believing I could too. I started doing many of the suggestions I read here- playing the tape through, recognizing the addictive voice, staying away from people, places, and things that made me want to drink, checking in here even just to read every single day, and accepting I was going to feel uncomfortable and I was going to have to face my problems without my old solution of drinking. And there have been many uncomfortable times. But that's life. I didn't realize that. I thought I was supposed to get rid of negative feelings whenever they came up. I started sitting with them, experiencing them, and observing them pass- not always as quickly as I would have liked. It was a lot of work. But I could barely imagine getting through a weekend or a week without drinking, and now I am celebrating one year sober. It got easier the more sober time I got under my belt. It can be done and it is worth it. The last and certainly not least thing that helped me was joining the Class of May 2012 thread. Every person there, past and present, has touched my heart. To walk along side others who are at the same stages is invaluable. I owe my sobriety to SR, the Class of May, and the ever-thoughtful, tactful, and encouraging Dee. I have never regretted quitting, never thought, "Gee I wish I had drank at x, y, or z." It's not worth all the aftermath. I know the fight is not over and I will keep doing the next right thing. I have still not ruled out other measures of maintaining sobriety if I should struggle. I hope anyone considering or trying to get sober will realize they too can do the work and overcome addiction. Make a plan and keep adding things until you get it right. It puts you in such a better position to deal with the rest of life and there are many happy and fun moments.
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